Gender differences in the perceptions for the ideal sex partner Introduction
Συγγραφέας Ορέστης Γιωτάκος Γράφτηκε στις ,
Researchers have long been interested in interpersonal perception within relationships. Much of the early interest focused on actual similarity, assumed similarity, and accuracy of perception as predictors of marital quality (Lavinger & Breedlove, 1966). More recent studies have examined how attributions about partner (Bradbury & Fincham, 1990) and idealization of the partner (Murray et al, 1996) affect relationship satisfaction. Denny et al (1984), comparing men’s and women’s preferences for sexual partners, have found that male undergraduates place the most emphasis on genital stimulation and intercourse, whereas female undergraduates most valued foreplay. The women’s needs for sexual enjoyment and orgasm are not well met by conventional vaginal intercourse (Bancroft, 2002). Hatfield et al (1989), found that there were no gender differences, in male and female undergraduates, with regard to the activities related to love and intimacy, but there were gender differences on several of the items related to partner initiative and sexual variance. Similarly, Purine et al (1994), found many gender differences, including men’s greater preference for use of drugs, alcohol and erotica with a partner, while women demonstrated greater preference than did men for emotionally intimate, romantic settings, as well as nongenital forms of sexual stimulation.
McGuirl & Wiederman (2000) investigated the gender differences in preferences for particular characteristics in a sexual partner and the extend to which men and women accurately estimate the preferences of the other gender. Although there were not found notable similarity in what men and women most valued in a potential long-term sex partner, there were found gender differences with regard to ratings of several of the items. Men and women under- or overestimated the ratings of the other gender with regard to several characteristics. The aim of the current study was, using the McGuirl & Wiederman questionnaire, to further investigate the gender differences in preferences for particular characteristics of a sexual partner. Also, to search the degree men and women accurately estimate the preferences of the other gender.
Method
Two-hundred and eighty nine heterosexual men (mean age: 24.5 ys, SD: 2.2) and 137 heterosexual women (mean age: 23.8 ys, SD: 1.3) participated in this study. Men had 16.7 (SD: 2.5), and women had 13.1 (SD: 5.3) years of education. All of them were Greek soldiers and they were healthy, because individuals suffering from serious physical and mental disorders are exempted. The participants were gathered in groups of ten to twenty in the campus’ library. They had a debriefing by the interviewer (O.G.) in which they were informed about the nature of the research task, and they were explained that their participation volunteering.
All participants completed a standard questionnaire (McGuirl & Wiederman (2000), which was divided into two parts. Both parts had the same set of ten items each, and they were marked with a six-point Likert scale. The first part was beginning with the statement: “Consider the extend to which you would like your long-term sex partner to display each characteristic, and use the following scale to indicate your degree of agreement or disagreement.”. The second part was introduced with separate instructions for men and women responders. The men’s instructions were: “Consider the extend to which you think a woman would like her long-term sex partner to display each characteristic and use the following scale to indicate your agreement or disagreement.”. Similarly, the women’s instructions were: “Consider the extend to which you think a man…”. The same ten partner characteristics were presented for self, as well as men’s and women’s estimates of preference held by the other gender. The ten specific characteristics are listed in the Tables.
We concluded three sets of ten t-test analyses. In the first we compared men’s and women’s ratings of the importance of each of the characteristics in a long-term sex partner. Next, we compared woman’s ratings of men’s preferences to men’s actual ratings. Last, we compared men’s ratings of women’s preferences to woman’s actual ratings. Pearson correlation analysis was used to search for associations between the actual men’s and women’s ratings of the importance of each of the characteristics in a long term sex partner.
Results
The comparison of men and women, regarding the rated importance of particular characteristics in long-term sex partners, showed that five of the ten characteristics were statistically significant. Reletive to women, men valued more highly the preference of a sex partner who is physically attractive (p<.04), experiences orgasm easily (p<00), and likes erotic videos or books (p<.02). Women, more higly valued the preference of a partner who is knowledgeable about sex (p<.00) and takes the dominant role during sex (p<.00) (Table 1).
Pearson’s correlation analysis showed that, in both men and women the preference of a partner who is open to discuss sex was significantly correlated with the preference of being uninhibited (R=.46 and R=0.54, respectively). Similarly, in both men and women, the preference of a partner who is aknowledgeable about sex was significantly correlated with the preference in taking the dominant during sex (R=.32 and R=.31, respectively). Also, in both men and women, the preference of a partner who is easily sexually aroused was significantly correlated with the preference in experiencing orgasm easily (R=.45 and R=.35, respectively). Only in men, the preference of a partner who pays compliments during sex was found to be correlated significantly with the degree she likes erotic material (R=.34). Only in women, the prefernce of a partner who clearly communicates his disires was was found to be significantly correlated with the degree he is sexually aroused (R=.35) (Not shown in a table).
The comparison between men’s reported preference and women’s rating regarding what they thought men prefer, showed inaccuracies in two of the ten items. Specifically, women overestimated the degree to which men like a partner saying compliments during sex (p<.002), and like erotic videos and books (p<.015) (Table 2).
The comparison between women’s reported preferences and men’s rating regarding what they thought woman prefer, showed inaccuracies in two of the ten items. Specifically, men underestimated women’s preference for a partner who clearly communicate desires (p<.03), and experience orgasm easily (p<.02) (Table 3).
Discussion
In the present study, Greek men valued more highly a sex partner who is physically attractive, easily experiences orgasm, and likes erotic movies or books, while Greek women valued more highly a sex partner who is experienced in sex, and takes the dominant role during sex. McGuirl & Wiederman (2000), using the same questionnaire in young Americans, have found excactly the same results regarding the men’s, and very similar results regarding the women’s value for the ideal sex partner. Specifically, women valued more highly a sex partner who is open to discussing sex, offers compliments, and takes the dominant role during sex.
How accurately do men and women perceive the preferences of the other gender? Also, which are the similarities or the differences, in relation to this accuracy, between the Greek and the American subjects? In general, we can suggest more similarities than differences between the two ethnic populations. In the present study, the comparisons between men’s reported preferences and women’s estimates regarding what they thought men prefer, concluded that women overestimated the degree to which men like a partner saying compliments during sex, and like erotic videos and books. Similarly, McGuirl and Wiederman (2000) have found the same results, plus that the women overestimated men’s preference for a partner who is easily sexually aroused, and easily experiences orgasm, and underestimated men’s preference for a partner who is open to discussing sex, and clearly communicates her desires. The comparisons of the current study between women’s reported preferences and men’s ratings regarding what they thought women prefer showed that men underestimated women’s preference to communicate clearly his desires, and to easily attain orgasm. Similarly, McGuirl & Wiederman (2000) have found the same results, plus the preference for a sex partner who is open to discussing sex.
The findings of the present study can be discussed in relation to previous findings which have shown in general that, compare to men, women seem to desire more nongenital expressions of affection as well as romantic settings for sexual activity. Specifically, Hatfield et al (1989), studing men and women undergraduates, have found that there were no gender differences with regard to the activities related to love and intimacy, but men indicated more than did women that they wished their partners would exhibit more frequently activities like, being dominant, experimental, variable, and impulsive during sex. In a study investigating whether gender-based differences exist in the rating of sexual words, men and women did not found to be differed in their sexual ratings, but men rated a sample of sexually ambiguous words more sexual than women (Plaud et al, 1998). Similarly, a research on gender differences in perceptions of sexual harasment revealed that women perceive a broader range of social-sexual behaviors as harasing (Rotundo et al, 2001). Finally, in a functional magnetic resonance study, investigating the brain activity of male and female subjects while they were wiewing erotic film, the hypothalamic activation was found to be significantly greater in male subjects, while the magnitude of hypothalamic activation was positively correlated with reported levels of sexual arousal (Karama et al, 2002).
The findings of the present study may have important implication for sexual counceling or education, because inaccuracy in assessing the other gender may lead to confusion, frustration, and unsatisfying interactions between men and women.
Table 1: Comparison between men (n=289) and women (n=137) with regard to self-reported preferences for particular characteristics in long-term sex partners.
Partner Characteristic
Men’s actual
Mean (SD)
Women’s actual
Mean (SD)
F
(1,424)
P <
Be open to discussing sex
4.1 (1.3)
3.9 (1.3)
.48
.486
Be uninhibited
4.4 (1.4)
4.4 (1.3)
1.69
.194
Be physically attractive
5.6 (0.6)
5.4 (0.7)
4.15
.042
Be knowledgeable about sex
4.4 (1.4)
4.9 (1.0)
30.99
.000
Pay me compliments during sex
4.5 (1.3)
4.5 (1.2)
2.42
.120
Communicate desires
5.4 (0.9)
5.4 (0.8)
2.02
.155
Be easily sexually aroused
4.9 (1.0)
4.7 (1.0)
.63
.424
Experience orgasm easily
4.7 (1.1)
3.8 (1.3)
14.23
.000
Like erotic videos, books, magazines
3.6 (1.4)
3.5 (1.2)
5.46
.020
Take the dominant role during sex
4.4 (1.3)
4.8 (0.9)
25.86
.000
Table 2: Comparison between men’s (n=289) self-reported preferences for particular characteristics in long-term sex partners and women’s (n=137) estimates regarding what they thought men prefer.
Partner Characteristic
Men’s actual
Mean (SD)
Women’s estimates Mean (SD)
F
(1,424)
P <
Be open to discussing sex
4.2 (1.3)
4.1 (1.2)
1.97
.161
Be uninhibited
4.4 (1.4)
4.5 (1.3)
1.83
.176
Be physically attractive
5.6 (0.6)
5.6 (0.6)
.000
.988
Be knowledgeable about sex
4.4 (1.4)
4.3 (1.3)
1.28
.257
Pay me compliments during sex
4.5 (1.3)
4.7 (1.0)
9.80
.002
Communicate desires
5.4 (0.9)
5.2 (0.8)
3.26
.072
Be easily sexually aroused
4.9 (1.0)
4.9 (0.9)
2.04
.153
Experience orgasm easily
4.7 (1.1)
4.6 (1.2)
.64
.421
Like erotic videos, books, magazines
3.6 (1.4)
3.9 (1.3)
5.94
.015
Take the dominant role during sex
4.4 (1.3)
4.6 (1.2)
2.84
.092
Table 3: Comparison between women’s (n=137) self-reported preferences for particular characteristics in long-term sex partners and men’s (n=289) estimates regarding what they thought women prefer.
Partner Characteristic
Women’s actual
Mean (SD)
Men’s estimates
Mean (SD)
F
(1,424)
P <
Be open to discussing sex
3.9 (1.3)
4.1 (1.3)
3.06
.081
Be uninhibited
4.4 (1.3)
4.5 (1.2)
.35
.554
Be physically attractive
5.4 (0.7)
5.5 (0.7)
1.82
.178
Be knowledgeable about sex
4.9 (1.0)
5.4 (0.7)
3.27
.071
Pay me compliments during sex
4.5 (1.2)
5.0 (1.1)
1.71
.191
Communicate desires
5.4 (0.8)
5.0 (1.1)
4.64
.032
7. Be easily sexually aroused
4.7 (1.0)
4.7 (1.2)
1.03
.254
Experience orgasm easily
3.8 (1.3)
3.0 (1.6)
5.06
.025
Like erotic videos, books, magazines
3.5 (1.2)
3.2 (1.4)
3.70
.055
Take the dominant role during sex
4.8 (0.9)
5.3 (0.9)
0.22
.639
